Thursday, February 26, 2009

some memories just remain..



It was 23rd February,1.56 p.m.. just after class, I had 2 missed calls on my phone, I called her back.. n she told me, I just couldnt digest it all at once, I kept telling myself it was a dream cause i knew i couldnt face reality just then. I was trembling from the inside, and still i didnt want to accept the truth, but yes it was real.


I packed my stuff..and walked out like a zombie, clueless to where i was going and what was going on around me......


When i'd finally arrive, there was this terrible heartache i couldnt bare, I didnt want to see, I didnt want to know, I just wanted to wake up, as if it were all a dream..


The room was silent and all could be heard were sniffles, I just stood there and was trying so hard to keep it in, and I managed too for sometime but finally i shattered. My heart was stinging with pain. I threw my arms around her and kissed her forehead, i could feel her cold cheeks against mine... I still couldnt accept the truth..


Carpets lay on the floor, white sheets were spread on the bed, the piercing cold dried ice, the flowered orange dress.. I can remember everything. I tried to keep myself busy and not drown in sorrow. By then people had come to know, the house was full mourning souls. It was nice to see that she had many people who love'd and cared for her.


It was a hard day.. but i dreaded to imagine the next..

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning and got ready, and knew the kind of day that i was in for...


Everything was prepared and ready by 8 in the morning.I couldnt stop looking at her, she was dressed in beautiful soft pink. She looked so peaceful lying there, she looked beautiful. Times when i walked by, it seemed she was just sleeping and would wake up any minute. Several times i thought she had opened her eyes and woken up from her sleep. It was unbearable.


The prayers had begun, and it created a calm feeling. The prayers were soothing and beautiful, this would have been what she wanted. It was afterward, where the pain inside was just too much to take.. the rose petals, garlands of flowers..Everyone said their goodbyes.. For the last time i put my hands around her and said my painful goodbyes..It was a horrible feeling.




... you have gone to a better place .. a happier one
it will never be the same without you..
we miss you so much
i never did get the chance to tell you that you meant alot to me



love you grandma...

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